Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize