New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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