People with herpes should wear stickers.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
