If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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