Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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