dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
