come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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