Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
