I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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