dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
