she was so not down for the gang bang
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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