i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
