So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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