Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
