two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
