I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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