i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
