The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
