I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we're making bets on your personal life
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
