True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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