That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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