I love black thongs
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
