I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
