Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i barfeds in our rink
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
