New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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