Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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