I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it glows. i had to have it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
