He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
