i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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