The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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