So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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