So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
