He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
