Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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