I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
