I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
