Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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