I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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