I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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