i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
