I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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