she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize