does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
