Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
