Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
