My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
