so explain again why im purple
no
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
