I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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