Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
