Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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