remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
