pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
