normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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