I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
