if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
