it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
