"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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