I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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