There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
